Category: Humorous
"A Worthy Goal"
Link: http://www.powerofaith.com
I was talking to a friend of my little girl, and she said she wanted to be President some day. Both of her parents, liberal Democrats, were standing there, so I asked her, "If you were President what would be the first thing you would do?"
She replied, "I'd give food and houses to all the homeless people."
"Wow - what a worthy goal," I told her. "You don't have to wait until you're President to do that. You can come over to my house and mow the grass, pull weeds, and sweep my yard, and I'll pay you $50. Then I'll take you over to the grocery store where the homeless guy hangs out, and you can give him the $50 to use toward food or a new house."
She thought that over for a few seconds because she's only 6. And while her Mom glared at me, she looked me straight in the eye and asked, "Why doesn't the homeless guy come over and do the work, and you can just pay him the $50?"
And I said, "Welcome to the Republican Party."
Her folks still aren't talking to me.
This joke was stolen from the blogsite: http://www.coatsville.com/Blogs/ I like their site, you'll like it too!
"The Obama Energy Plan"
Link: http://powerofaith.com
Barack Obama ["Energy Plan"] has offered a solution to our energy crisis. Mr Obama says: If we will all make sure we have the correct tire pressure in our tires, it will be equal to, and save as much as "Off Shore Drilling", and there will be no need for it.
Allthough it is true that correct tire pressure "does" increase gas milage, someone forgot to tell the senator that 70% of Americans are already doing "just that". Well, what can I say? As ridiculus as it is having to respond to this kind of nonsense, we have to respond to it, because so many of the liberal zombies take anything these people say as though it were the word of God, and were actually true.
On the other hand, CNN's talk show host "Glen Beck" has offered, what he calls an equally effecient solution. Now, if you'll pardon me, Glen Beck is a "Modest S.O.B.". I say this because "his" plan is actually heads above the Obama plan. (video below)
Mr Becks plan, that we all drive naked is simply genius!! Think about it! Imagine if you will, if you took all the clothes of every American driver, including shoes jewelry etc.. and put them all in a huge pile, do you know how much that would weigh?
It would take hundreds (if not thousands) of semi trucks to carry all of them from one place to another. Can you even imagine what that would cost in gasoline? But what if. . . . (Dan uses his computer like mind) What if we did both! What if we checked our tire pressure "and" drove naked? WOW - I amaze myself!
Seriously, if checking our tire pressure will totally take the place of new "Off Shore Drilling", then if we do both, it should make us totally independent from foreign oil altogether, and gas prices should reduce to pennies.
Don't forget, check that tire pressure, and "drive naked".
"The Department of Offense"
Link: http://pofm.org
This week the Obama campaign found the cover of the New Yorker (below) to be offensive. That's okay, last week they were ready to be offended by something John McCain "might" say, but didn't. ("Oh, did I mention - he's black" etc...)
Then the week before that they were offended by the "Sock Obama", fashioned after "Curious George". Then before that they were offended because Fox News played the Reverend Wright tape too much in their opinion.
Then before that, they were offended because Hillary happened to use the assination of Bobby Kennedy as an example that anything can happen. Before that, they were offended at something Bill Clinton said (I forget what) and accused him of being a racist.
Then before that, they were offended because the media was calling Michelle Obama on her statement "For the first time in her life, she's proud to live in this country".
The Obama campaign seems to feel that the more they can portray him as a victim, the better his chances of being elected. What they don't understand is, Americans want a president who is strong and decisive. They want someone who will protect "them", not someone who constantly needs protecting.
Portraying him as a professional "victim" is simply a weak political strategy. If that's what truly appealed to the American people, they'd simply pull some poor soul out of an abuse shelter and let "them" run the country.
All I can say is: "Welcome to American Politics" That's the way the game is played here. (right or wrong) Theres an old saying: "If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen" If he is offended this deeply and easily, he won't last two weeks in the oval office.
I don't know if he's suited to be president, but we could create a new position for him that he would do wonderful at. "Offense Secretary" or "Head of the Department of Offense" Think about it. 
The bottom line is: "Yo! It's Satire! Lighten up!"
"This is the Moment"
Link: http://pofm.org
I am at this moment, listening to Barrack Obama's speach on Fox News. The theme is "This is the Moment". I hate to look stupid, but, I guess I missed the moment!I still didn't see "the plan". What is it? (Doe's anyone know?)
I heard allot of "we need to", but no "how to do it". Heck, I can tell you what we "need to do", but if I don't tell you how to do it, what good am I?
Sorry, I missed the moment! Apparently, it was a "big" moment, but I totally missed it! (Dan hangs his head in shame) Hey! if theres another moment, someone please email me! I don't want to miss it again.
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