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Panic
because Your marriage has already ended in divorce.
Panic because, "It's too late". And you know that God
said in Malachi 2:16, that God hates divorce! Your
probably feeling a bit guilty like every normal person
does after a divorce, and now you feel that "God is
really mad at you, or God hates you!"
Are
you thinking you could have done things a little
different?, you know what? You probably could have! But,
lets both quit beating up on you for a minute because
there are some things I think you should know. (wait to
panic)
A short
story
First
I'd like to tell you about a person I know that did
everything he could to save his marriage and did
everything right according to Gods word and the marriage
still went down in flames. I believe after reading this,
you might get a better perspective on how God looks at
divorce.
About
8 to 10 years ago this person was having an argument
with his wife. It was about 2 hours before he had to go
to work and she stated that it was her birthday and she
was going out to a bar. He asked, who was going to watch
their 3 children? She stated: "My mother"
He
said: "The same mother who watched your sisters kids and
was visiting bad areas of town at 3 and 4:00 AM and left
them un attended in her car? I DON'T THINK SO!
He
was sitting in his favorite chair and she was standing
at the front door holding it cracked open, yelling very
loud so the neighbors could hear! He got up and walked
calmly to the door, slammed it very hard, then returned
to his chair and said: "Now, just talk to "me",
okay?"
That
was the most violent thing that happened that day.
However, when he returned home from work that evening,
he found that his wife had left and taken their 3
children.
What
followed soon afterward was shocking. For two weeks or
so, this person didn't know where his children were.
Finally a phone call. It was his wife. The conversation
was pleasant and he asked if she needed money or their
only car and said: "If you need time to think about
things go ahead etc.."
She
said she didn't need anything and that she had to do
something quickly that her attorney had told her to do.
Apparently she was advised to check into an abuse
shelter by the attorney.
Very
soon afterwards, he was served with divorce papers and
allegations of spousal abuse and child abuse and still
didn't know where his children were. It was at this
point, this person I know, fell on the floor in his
living room, intensely begging God to heal his marriage
and protect him from these allegations against him.
This
man called everyone he knew and asked them to pray that
God would heal his marriage and about the abuse
allegations. He told everyone that if they had any
doubts about "him" to at least pray that Gods will would
be done.
In
his mind, he knew he was innocent and that it "was" Gods
will that the marriage be restored! So he knew he was
praying according to Gods will.
Malachi 2:16
"For
I hate divorce,"
says the LORD, the God of Israel, "and him who covers
his garment with wrong," says the LORD of hosts. "So
take heed to your spirit, that you do not deal
treacherously."
Matthew 19:9
"And I say to you,
whoever divorces his wife, except for
immorality,
and marries another woman commits adultery."
Things went from bad to worse to everyone's surprise.
This woman went to this mans neighbors, the elders of
his church, his friends, relatives and anyone who would
lend an ear to her and maliciously slammed this mans
character. She even went to the humane society and told
them that he abused animals.
It
was later that she told him that she had been diagnosed
with "serious mental issues". There were things this man
could have done, right from the beginning to seek
revenge and make her life miserable, but he chose not to
go there.
God
sent two attorneys to him, who offered to represent him
free of charge. The first, a friend of his did not
specialize in divorce and worked diligently to reconcile
the marriage.
Well,
they went to court and the judge immediately awarded her
full custody of the three children and a sizable amount
of child support, but, by law, had to grant him
visitation.
The
second, who did specialize in divorce, literally begged
him to let him take the case and he did. They went back
to court and The judge belittled him, made fun of his
age and his occupation and was very distinctly rude.
However, the judge was forced (by law) to lower the
child support to a very minimal amount. And was visibly
not happy about it. This man was also awarded "joint
custody" of the three children.
To
make a long story short, every time this woman tried to
dig a pit for him, she would fall into it herself.
Eventually, he was awarded full custody of the children.
It was later discovered that the children (especially
one) were being abused, but it was happening in
her care, at her house, not his.
A
divorce did take place. He did everything possible to
prevent it, and Did everything according to Gods will.
Even though being lonely and approached by women, he had
nothing to do with them even after the divorce was
final.
God
does answer prayer, but sometimes the answer is "No".
Everyone was confused because they were sure they were
praying according to God's will, yet things kept getting
worse.
I
truly believe with all my heart, that God wanted this
marriage to end. If I didn't believe it then, There is
no doubt that I believe it now!
Does this shock you? I'm
sure it does, but I would like to point something out to
you, that you may not know.
God himself is
a divorcee. You heard me correctly. Even God reached a
point when he had to say: "enough is enough".
Jeremiah 3:8
"And I saw that for all the adulteries of faithless
Israel, I had sent her away and given her a
writ
of divorce,
yet her treacherous sister Judah did not fear; but she
went and was a harlot also.
Once
this mans marriage ended, God started blessing him
beyond measure. He was awarded custody of his children
by a judge who started off hating him, (based on all the
accusations filed against him) and Free attorneys? (now
that's a miracle)
One
day a woman attended his church that was so beautiful,
she turned even the most disciplined members of the
congregations heads. She was not only extremely
beautiful, but very pleasant to talk to and well
mannered.
Some
of the single gentlemen didn't waste much time in asking
her out, which she politely declined without hurting
their feelings or pride. She had a daughter that
attended some of the same functions as his three
children did.
They
became friends and would seem to single each other out
for conversation on Wednesday evenings while waiting for
their children's church functions to end.
His
sister said to him: "She likes you" and he replied:
"She's just really nice and she's nice to everyone".
Using common sense, he knew this girl could have anyone
she chose, and he didn't consider himself a great catch,
having three children and not such a great job at the
time.
I
could go on and make this a novel if I told you how much
god has blessed this man, but to condense this a bit, to
the distain of their church, that insisted on taking a
marriage course that lasted weeks before getting
married, they had one date and then got married.
That
was several years ago, and to this day, I never see them
without holding each others hand. It was truly a
marriage arranged by God. She appears to be (and
according to him) everything the bible describes as "an
excellent wife"
They
are so obviously right for each other, they could pass
for brother and sister if it were not so obvious that
they are so in love. By the way, she was divorced also!
(but that is another story for another time)
What's the point! How
does this apply to me?
The
point is, "God Hates Divorce". So ask your self, did God
hate "that" divorce? Hmmm it seems there are exceptions.
Who do you most resemble in the story above? (Gender
doesn't matter) Why did God bless this man even though
he got divorced? And her for that matter.
The
answer is in the advice I am about to give you. So you
are divorced! (not separated) This time, let God choose
your spouse for you, as you should have done the first
time, but hardly anyone does.
Sure,
you're lonely and maybe depressed. You might even be
missing sex so bad you can't stand it! However, now is
the time to put God before your urges, feelings, wants
and desires. (In truth, you are currently facing a
wonderful opportunity) Take it!
If
you can abstain from having sex or whatever it is that
is most important to you, and put God first, this will
make you a pearl of great price in Gods eyes. God will
notice and reward you!
It
may even take some time, but will be well worth it. If
you put God first, he will send you the perfect
spouse. A match made by him, made in heaven, unbreakable
by Satan or the world.
Whatever it is that you would put ahead of, or as more
important than God, (and we all have something) put it
behind you and put God first! I promise you, God will
bless you beyond measure.
Whatever it is, put it second to God. Find out what
pleases God and what God would want you to do, then Do
it!
That's what the man in the story did and it worked for
him. I guarantee it will work for you. It may not be
what you wanted to hear, but it is good advise. try it.
Under
no circumstances will God bless you for taking revenge
on your "X" spouse. If you've done wrong, try to make it
right! Get over it and get on with your life!
If
your "X"- spouse needs to be punished, let God do it! By
the way, God will not be requiring your help! As much as
is possible, get out with a clean conscience. Just ask
God and he is faithful to forgive you and wipe the slate
clean.
If
you are not divorced yet, don't even think about it!!
Your course is to pray and trust God, and he can make
your marriage (yes your marriage) heaven on
earth.
God
is not your 2nd grade teacher. He knows your heart and
he knows your mind. Put divorce or whatever "you" want
behind you and do what God wants, then, if you end up
divorced, you will walk out of it "blessed!" (No Panic)
You
can't fool God, don't try!
God Bless You
Dan Douglass
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